Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
