If i come over, it means nothing
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
