Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
