somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
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We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
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So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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