eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
