I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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