i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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