She said her name was "party"
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...