I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.