Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You were trust falling into bushes