dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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