Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
