OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
