whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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