I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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