I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
