2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize