Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
