dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
