Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
it was like eating out sand paper
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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