i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
