I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
