Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize