THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
