You're completely useless in the revolution.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
