Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
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I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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