how hairy? two words: wookie tits
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!