I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
