So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
