A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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