he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
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well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
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Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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