Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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