He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
