Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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