it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
