My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
