Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
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