so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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