you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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