We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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