he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
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Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
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I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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