Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
