Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
