I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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