dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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