he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
