u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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