Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
