I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
