Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
