Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
