I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
