Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize