it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
