how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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