Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize