Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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