I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
