How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
