Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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