You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
